I realized it's been a very long time since I've written anything. I was thinking these thoughts and
decided I had something to say.
Why do I write?
Do I write so others can see what I good writer I am and comment and say to me "you are a really good writer"? yes
Do I write so that others can see the sacrifices I've made and comment "I don't know how you could have given up having sex until you were married. Wow! God must really be with you"? yes
Do I write so that others can see how spiritual I am? yes
Do I write because I want to tell the world I once was lost but now I'm found! Yes!
Do I write because I want others to hear the difference having Jesus in my life has made? Yes!
Do I write because if it wasn't for Him I wouldn't write? Yes!
He gives me each and every breath. He sustains me. He gives me a creative mind. While the selfishness in me may be exposed, I will admit it, the greatest purpose for my writing is to expose the darkness to the light.
As I grow closer to The Lord my selfishness is exposed more and more.
It's not condemnation. It's discipline. It's the loving Father showing me where I need more of Him. It hurts. Sometimes a lot. It's never easy burying self.
My flesh (humanness) screams out "It's not fair".  Then, I see Jesus hanging on the cross and am convicted and humbled and grateful that He didn't let His flesh get in the way! That one unselfish act of love opened the way for all the world.
So, the next time you feel like saying "It's not fair!" remember what Jesus did for you and don't let the flesh win. Maybe that unselfish act of love you show will open the way for someone else to see the love of Jesus.