I realized it's been a very long time since I've written anything. I was thinking these thoughts and
decided I had something to say.
Why do I write?
Do I write so others can see what I good writer I am and comment and say to me "you are a really good writer"? yes
Do I write so that others can see the sacrifices I've made and comment "I don't know how you could have given up having sex until you were married. Wow! God must really be with you"? yes
Do I write so that others can see how spiritual I am? yes
Do I write because I want to tell the world I once was lost but now I'm found! Yes!
Do I write because I want others to hear the difference having Jesus in my life has made? Yes!
Do I write because if it wasn't for Him I wouldn't write? Yes!
He gives me each and every breath. He sustains me. He gives me a creative mind. While the selfishness in me may be exposed, I will admit it, the greatest purpose for my writing is to expose the darkness to the light.
As I grow closer to The Lord my selfishness is exposed more and more.
It's not condemnation. It's discipline. It's the loving Father showing me where I need more of Him. It hurts. Sometimes a lot. It's never easy burying self.
My flesh (humanness) screams out "It's not fair".  Then, I see Jesus hanging on the cross and am convicted and humbled and grateful that He didn't let His flesh get in the way! That one unselfish act of love opened the way for all the world.
So, the next time you feel like saying "It's not fair!" remember what Jesus did for you and don't let the flesh win. Maybe that unselfish act of love you show will open the way for someone else to see the love of Jesus.

My Baby's Turning 11!

Just 2 years shy of becoming a teenager. And all too fast for this mom. Tomorrow, my one and only, turns 11. She has really been through a lot. Too much for an 11 year old.  Yet in the world we live in maybe not. The world says "kids adapt easily". She shouldn't have had to. We live in a selfish, "me-filled" world. I know - I used to live in it. But, that was then. This is now. Then, I was worldly. Now, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I'm godly. I used to worry and be filled with anxiety. Now I'm joyful and filled with peace. I know that I messed up BIG time. God knows it, too. He can turn things around. He's already started. I think about Mary Magdelene and how 4 simple words from Jesus changed her life - "your sins are forgiven". I know, that because of my sins, there will be consequences but I know that God can take my mess and make it my message (famous Joyce Meyer saying). So, yes, my little girl is turning 11 tomorrow. And, yes, her little life has been through a lot. BUT now Jesus is in our lives. So, I don't look behind me. I look ahead with hope. I know that He has things covered. I know that my precious daughter is a gift from God for me to raise in Him with the best of my ability and know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phillipians 4:13).  I place her in His loving hands and know that He has a good plan for her life. A plan to prosper her and not to harm her, plans to give her hope and a future! (Jeremiah 29:11). So, Happy Birthday sweet princess. Go on and turn 11...mommy loves you but Jesus loves you more!

My Heart on Mother's Day

Mother's Day! For most is a happy celebration. But for a lot of women it's a sad day.
A day of feeling worthless. A day of mourning. A day of remembering shattered dreams.
This is what it was for me up until 11 years ago. After suffering four miscarriages this
was not a joyous occasion. This was the one day I wished would have not been celebrated.
My heart was broken and this was just a reminder of things that might never be.
I wasn't ok with that!
For the women that have suffered the loss of a child,
the women that have had miscarriages,
the women hoping to adopt their 1st child or the women that had an abortion
this can be a reminder of the pain they feel inside.
Please be kind to the women you know that have gone through these things!
Don't wish them a Happy Mother's Day
because they have a dog so deep down they are really a mom - to some yes,
but to others this is just a cruel comment.
I don't mean to be a downer on this day but felt that this had to be said.
Now, Mother's Day is a happy day because I do have a child.
But to the women that still don't or never will, please know that I'm thinking and praying for you on this day!

Double Digits

My little angel turned 10 on Monday. Time sure flies! I've watched this gift that God has entrusted to me grow. With each age I say "I don't want her to grow up"! And at the same time I can't wait to see what the next year brings! It's such a huge responsiblity - raising a child - and yet it's one that I cherish. I pray that God gives me the wisdom I need to do the best job I can. At times I feel like I'm failing. Other times I feel like I'm Supermom!
In a world that is so filled with immorality it's sometimes hard to protect her from it. I stand on God's promise that when you start a child on the way he should go, when they get old they will not turn from it. (Prov 22:6) So I teach her right from wrong, I try to be the best example of a godly woman as I can, I discipline her when she needs it. I love on her and I pray. The rest I leave to God!
The next 10 years will be here before I know it - my job will pretty much be done - she will be a young woman. A young godly woman with a mama that can look back and be proud of how God has used her to shape her daughter into the woman she has become.

While I Wait

I'm in a valley right now. Not a terrible one. But a valley all the same. A valley is something we are going through that is not what we would want. Sometimes we are put in a valley because of others. Sometimes we are put in a valley because of ourselves. The valleys are used by God to help us grow. Nevertheless, valleys are not places we enjoy being. I will not share with you what this valley is however, I will share with you what I do when I'm in a valley. Something I have learned over the years as I've grown closer to God. When I'm in a valley I need God's help. I need to wait patiently on the Lord. The Bible says that you should count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.  But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. (James 4:2-4) So I know that how I act during this time needs to be pleasing to God. This is what I know; God is in control of everything.  All things work together for good to those that love the Lord (Rom 8:28). Well, I love the Lord and know that this valley is somehow going to work out for my good. How do I know? Because God doesn't lie. And because I have faith in Him. I believe how I act during this time determines how long I remain in the valley. I am not saying I don't get down during this time - sometimes I cry, sometimes I complain, sometimes I act...human. But as I grow closer to the Lord these ways get less and less. As quickly as I can, I turn to my Comforter - the Holy Spirit. Sometimes I go into my "prayer room", turn on some worship music and praise God for all the blessings He has given to me. I turn my thoughts to Him. While the valley remains I can choose to focus on Him rather than on my valley. When I focus on Him I am filled with peace and joy!
For now, as I walk through this valley, I am singing and praising Him!  I know that this is somehow going to better me. One thing I am sure of is that while I am in this valley I am getting closer to my Savior - and that is one reason I will gladly stay there.

This is my song when I'm in a valley!

Get Ready To Be Amazed



Today started out - like I try to start most of my days - up before anyone else, a large cup of java in hand and then up to my "prayer room" to spend some quiet time with God. This is the best part of my day but it wasn't always. I used to dread waking up early to go and read the bible and pray. I always knew it was what I was supposed to do and always envied people that said how awesome their time with God was but I just didn't get it. So, one day I asked the Lord to help me. To give me the desire to want to read His Word and to spend time with Him. I started forcing myself to get up and do it. Then one day very soon after I prayed I realized that the days I didn't spend with God in the morning felt "off". Like I didn't have the peace to get me through when things went wrong. Like I wasn't as patient with my daughter or husband. Like the bounce from my step was missing. I realized I missed spending time with God. I know this may sound a little strange to a lot of you but I'd rather give up my coffee than give up my quiet time - and trust me I LIKE my coffee! The stronger the better! But when I spend time with God I get stronger! He transforms me! He talks to me through His Word! He gives me what a need for the day before I ever need it. Without my knowing I'm going to need it. The more time I spend with Him the more I fall in love with Him. I find that He truly amazes me!  I don't know why I'm amazed. I mean He is God! Still, I want to be amazed everyday! I think it helps me to know that I'm paying attention to the things He's doing in my life.
Here's just a little encouragement for you. Take that first step and ask God to give you the desire to want to read His Word and spend time with Him. You aren't keeping a secret from Him. He already knows that it may be the last thing you want to do. But get ready to be amazed!

Resurrection Sunday

This is the day I long for. It is the reason for my hope. There was found an empty tomb. God had raised His son from the dead. Over 500 people saw the Resurrected Jesus. (1 Cor 15:5-6) Could you imagine? What if you had been there? I am sure I would have been like Thomas and doubted. Jesus says that Thomas believed because he saw but that those who have not seen and yet believed will be blessed. (John 20:29).
I believe. It is by faith that I believe. Something like this requires faith because it sounds so impossible (?). I can only tell you that I know it's real because I know what has happened to my life since I turned from my sin and accepted Jesus into my heart and made him my LORD and Savior! I am a new person. My life is controlled by Him. I want it that way. He protects me. When I do things His way, things turn out better.  I obey His commands not to earn my salvation but because I know He knows what is best for me. It's like the rules you give your kids - you are not going to love them any less or tell them they are not part of the family anymore because they disobey - sure you'll be displeased but your love will not change. The rules are there to protect them, to keep them safe.
I think all Christians should watch the movie "The Passion of the Christ".  It shows the truly brutal beatings and the crucifixion of Jesus. Some say it is way too violent. Too bloody. Too gory. It is. I watch and I sob. I try to put myself there, in that time. As one of the disciples. I get angry that no one stood up for Jesus. I wonder if I would have done the same. These were men who loved Jesus. Said they'd die with him. But when it came right down to it - they fled. What if I was Mary Magdalene - watching at the foot of the cross - heart breaking. I'm sure I'd have trouble breathing.  My heart is filled with so much love for this man who was beaten for me. For you. For the world. How could you not owe him your life? To be perfectly honest I don't think I would willingly suffer like that for anyone, well maybe there are a few people, but to suffer for someone that doesn't love me or may never love me? I know I would not even consider it. But Jesus loved us so much he did it while we were still sinners, before we ever loved Him. Wow - that's love!



Better To Give Than To Receive!

Selfishness. The act of being concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for another. That definition explained me and sad to say it still does rear it's ugly head on occasion. I mean, if I don't look out for numero uno, who will, right? Wrong. When we trust Jesus He will look out for us. It's amazing what happens when you forget about yourself for 2 minutes and do something for someone else, not out of selfish ambition, but out of love. The saying "it's better to give than to receive" really is true. When I was going through depression a few years back I started to go and visit people in a nursing home. If anyone had a right to be depressed it was these people. Most of them are put there by family members with good intentions of coming to visit but life happens and the visits get fewer and far between. Most of the people have a room-mate, 1 dresser, 1 tiny closet, a bed, a small t.v. and maybe a recliner. That's it! This is home. Some are happy and thankful, others are, well not so happy. But I learned that a smile from me or a visit from me could brighten up their day. So, I started going more often. Got to know people's names. Started smiling again. Started to realize that I was not concerned with my situation as much. I started coming out of my depression. You know, when someone has too much time on their hands, I think it can sometimes become stomping grounds for the devil to come in and mess with you. So get busy! Do something for someone else. There are so many lonely people in nursing homes that would love to have a visitor or a neighbor that is going through a hard time. Someone that's been out of work that needs groceries or even a home-cooked meal. A friend going through a divorce. A couple that never get a date night because they don't have anyone to watch their kids. Maybe you know someone in prison. Come on - get creative. Get your mind off of yourself and let's make this world a better place to live. Let's start acting like Christians instead of telling everyone we are. Let's truly be the hands and feet of Jesus!


Meet some of my friends at the nursing home!!

MARIE - 92 years young - had a heart attack a year ago but God wasn't ready to take her home yet because she's back to her old young self!

Praise God!

 

  MARY
This is my adopted grandma! She was introduced to me on my 1st visit. Always a smile on her face! Mary will be 84 on April 20. Happy Birthday, Mary!

EMMA

This woman has a mansion or 2 waiting for her in heaven. She's anxiously awaiting the meeting of her Father in heaven. Tears come to her eyes when we talk about this. It's not fear but joy. Emma is 92 - every time I visit she is either reading her bible, a devotional or praying. Thanks for praying for me. Can't wait to spend time with you, my dear sister, in the Presence of Jesus!

A Nerve's Been Hit

Yesterday I received a notice from a Christian organization that monitors what's going on in our society. I was informed that a new pilot t.v. show was being worked on - it's called "Good Christian B*tches". Have you ever felt like your blood was boiling? My blood was boiling. It's still pretty hot. I signed a petition and posted on Facebook to get the word out. The sad thing is that obviously there is a desire for people to want to watch this crap! I say fine to those that aren't Christians, if that's how they want to fill their minds, hearts and souls. But for the Christians, I will be bold and say we should be ashamed of ourselves! The bible tells us to guard our hearts, for everything you do flows from it.(Prov 4:23).  We need to monitor what our eyes are intentionally looking at and our ears are intentionally hearing and if it doesn't line up with God's word, then we need to stop watching or listening. It's as simple as that! Do you think our heavenly Father is pleased with us when we watch shows like Desperate Housewives, Sex in the City or even Oprah? Yes, Oprah! She believes that there are many ways to God and even promotes this. Her following is large and therefore she is leading so many people astray. Why would you want to promote that? We have become a society so desensitized by what we see on television. Hollywood has programmed us to think that adultery is something that most married people do and it's no big deal. That there is nothing wrong with sleeping with someone before you are married (heck, the more sex partners you have the better) and that it is not wrong to have relations with someone of the same sex. The Bible calls all these acts sexually immoral. It says that these acts are wicked and the wicked will not inherit the Kingdom of God. (1 Corinthians 6:9). 
I know this is very controversial but someone needs to be controversial! We need to take a stand against what Hollywood says about Christians. We can not be silent. Look what silence brought to the public schools. We, as Christians, are to be holy not tolerant! 1 Peter 1:14-16 says, As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.  But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do;  for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy". The world doesn't know any better. They are in the dark. (Ephesians 4:8 - They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts.) But we do, or should, because we have been brought out of darkness and into the light. (1 Thessalonians 5:5 - You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness.) Be holy then! Stop conforming to the world. (Romans 12:2 - Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.) How are we supposed to transform our minds if we are still putting in the junk we watched or listened to when we lived in the dark? The day you accepted Jesus as your Savior you became a new creation. (2 Corinthians 5:17 - Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!) When are we going to start acting like what we say we are? When are we going to start looking different from the "world"? Truth be told, we should've started looking and acting different the moment we accepted Jesus as our Savior. His Holy Spirit now resides in us and therefore we are being transformed into His image from glory to glory. (2 Corinthians 3:18). I know we all have our convictions and passions for what is right and what is wrong and while you can tell this subject has hit a nerve, I am praying that it has hit a nerve with you, too!



If this has hit a nerve, I urge you to go to the link below and sign the petition. Let Hollywood know that you don't like what they are doing! 

http://secure.afa.net/afa/activism/signpetition.asp?id=1930

Diesel's Home!!

Earlier this week I received a forwarded e-mail from a neighbor that read as follows - We are calling out for your help.  Our dog, Diesel, got out today around 1:00 p.m. and we have not been able to find him.  He is a yellow/orange Labrador retriever and has a red collar (his tags may have fallen off at some point today). He was last seen at the blue park in Deer Creek on Morgan Drive and Prairie. He is up to date on all his vaccinations.  Please call us if you have any information about Diesel we are offering a REWARD to whoever finds/has him. Please pass this e-mail along to anyone you can. PLEASE PLEASE HELP OUR FAMILY FIND DIESEL!!! Thank you so much for your help.  Then the next day this update on Diesel.
Diesel has been seen yesterday and just this morning at 7:50 a.m. at the blue park in Deer Creek at Morgan Drive and Prairie.  He has been running the cornfields and prairie behind the houses along Morgan Drive/Sud Circle and Prairie that travel along to Arbor up to Route #.  He has been seen as far as Route # and Mink and back to Club.  Please pass this update along to anyone you can.Please keep an eye out for him and call me if you see him.Thanks again for your help. 
Later that night when I was at the Walgreens I saw a mini-van with "DIESEL IS HOME!" written on the windows. A big smile came to my face. 
You think that family loved their dog? They would have done just about anything to get him home. 
God is like that with us. He calls us and waits for us to come home. He searches us out. Do we listen? Some of us do - some of us don't. Some of us hear but ignore. But He doesn't give up. Think about it, if you're a Christian how many times did He have to search you out before you came home? Or maybe you ran away for awhile - how long were you gone before you came back? Maybe you are not a Christian, how many times have you felt that there's got to be more - you've felt a "knocking" but just don't want to answer? God wants you home! 
It is God's will that none should perish (that means be apart from Him in Eternity) (2 Peter 3:9.) But He gives us free will on whether or not we will choose the Salvation he offers. That Salvation is found in His son, Jesus Christ. (John 3:16) It's our gift from Him. (Romans 6:23) It's free! The amazing thing is that He paid the REWARD for us before we ever came home! While we were still sinners Christ died for us! (Romans 5:8) When we "come home" or in other words surrender our lives to Jesus, there's a party in heaven! God writes your name in "the book of life" and rejoices!
Because once you were lost but now you're found! 
Because

(YOUR NAME) IS HOME!